So yeah...I painted some waffles (with toasty brown edges!), and they are fabulous. And then I thought, hey, these waffles should come with a side of bacon. But not strips of bacon painted on a big ol' canvas - I'd want this bacon to stand alone in bacony glory. But how to accomplish this?
My brain excels at problem-solving, and "how can I make fake, wall-mountable bacon?" is exactly the kind of weird-ass quandary it loves. I have indeed come up with a way to construct artificial bacon strips, and I'm 99% sure I know how to make 'em hangable...but I haven't attached the hanging hardware yet so you'll have to be content with a picture taken on the floor.