Thursday, January 13, 2011

A Scientific Theory

I never leave home without my glasses on my face - they're not "optional" for me like they are for some people - but sometimes I'll do without them if I'm just bumming around the apartment.  And I've noticed that when I'm walking around with a naked face, the "wind" of me moving around hurts my eyes and makes me blink.  It's like I can feel the individual air molecules bouncing off my exposed eyeballs.

But I don't notice non-spectacled people flinching and blinking as they walk around. They don't seem to feel anything amiss.

My hypothesis is that a lifetime of constant air molecule collisions has given them eye-calluses.


  1. I used to flinch and blink when I had neither glasses nor contacts on; since I got laser surgery and stopped wearing either, I stopped flinching and blinking (well at least unusual flinching and blinking). Clearly I developed eye-calluses.

  2. You've had laser eye surgery, Charles? I wanted to get that done...right up until I learned it's not just a laser, there's a scalpel involved too. ACK.

    So now I'm hoping some new technology will come along where they just, like, teleport the fuzziness out of my vision.

  3. The procedure I had done did not use a scalpel; there was another laser they used to cut the flap of cornea (IntraLASIK). They touched my eye with a suction device that held it in place, and with a tiny spatula thing they used to flip the corneal flap away before the main procedure and back afterwards.

    For me, it worked exactly as advertised; I have excellent vision without the nighttime problems like starbursts or halos that they warn you may occur. The IntraLASIK procedure is supposed to mostly prevent those.

    Getting the procedure wasn't that bad and I was super happy with the results.

  4. See, initially I thought they just clamped the patient's eyelids open a la Clockwork Orange and then fired the laser (which would be bad enough).

    But then I heard about this whole cut-a-trapdoor-in-the-surface-of-your-eye-and-flip-it-back thing and I thought I might faint while barfing.

    I'm glad the procedure worked for you, and I wish I could have perfect vision too, but OMFG I can not deal with the eye flippage.

  5. I have lots of other friends that feel the same way, generally the ones that can't stand contacts. Some people are just really skeeved by anything to do with physical contact with the eye.