Boy: I thought about buying you an advent calendar today, but then I thought "will she actually be able to pace herself?"
Me: You'd be surprised at how well I do when there's portion control. Those little perforated cardboard doors would hold me at bay...but I'd know the chocolate was there. Waiting for me. And it would drive me insane.
Boy: That's exactly what I thought would happen, so I didn't buy one.
Me: And this is why you're awesome.
(He had bought me a full-size chocolate bar, though - another reason why he's awesome.)