Shambolicguru: I have a grudging respect for Lady Gaga. I'm not into her music per se, but at least she writes it herself. And she can even play an instrument!
Me: I didn't know that.
Shambolicguru: It's true! Actually, I think she can play two: piano and guitar.
Me: That's hard to picture because usually Lady Gaga is wearing, like, a lobster-shaped oven mitt on one hand and a ukulele stapled to the other.
Shambolicguru: I heard she has a special device for playing the guitar that's basically a just pig she straps to the ukulele. She puts on the pig, and then she kinda...flails. [Pantomimes strumming a guitar with a pig that's strapped to a ukulele that's stapled to his hand.]
[I have awesome friends]