They always hang out in parks and near bodies of water in spring and summer. It's weird to think that these are wild animals - that undomesticated creatures are just kinda lounging around in public among humans. Our two species seem to have reached a state of truce, though: the humans mind their own business and the geese mind theirs. Unless, of course, the human being happens to be me.
For some reason, my presence incites Canada geese into insane fits of rage. Any time I pass close to one - not being loud or disruptive or even making eye contact, mind you, just walking past - it hisses threateningly at me and then lunges at me. I've never had one actually chase me - they just feint toward me and then sit back down again, probably laughing at my terror as I sprint away - but it's probably just a matter of time.
Anyway. Today The Boy and I were walking somewhere and I was taunting him (I can't remember why) and he responded by calling out "Heeeeeere, goosey goosey goosey!" past my head and I realized we happened to be walking beside a park and that some fucking Canada geese were standing maybe twenty feet away. I was like "Arrrrrgh, don't even joke about that, I hate geese! I'm almost as afraid of them as I am of centipedes!" whereupon The Boy threatened to genetically engineer a bunch of centigeese that he would sic on me whenever I was mean to him.
So that is the world's most terrifying animal: the centigoose. I even drew you a picture so you, too, can be traumatized by its extreme scariness:
|"honk honk I WILL HAUNT YOUR DREAMS honk"|