[A while back, necklaces with words on them were really popular. I began to crave one for myself, but not one with my initials or some trendy inspirational word like “dream” or “believe”; I wanted to make one that said “perverse” or “ask me about my crippling shyness” or “fuck this shit”. My friend S. and I made a pilgrimage to my favourite bead store, where I bought three or four little sealed baggies of letter beads on sale.
Then S. and I went to a coffee shop and I poured my bounty out on the table so I could start arranging the letters and planning out all the fabulous necklaces I would make. Except...]
Me: What the hell?! I guess these were on sale because they ran out of most of the important letters!
S. [sifting through the beads]: The only vowels they gave you are A’s and Y’s. That’s kind of ridiculous.
Me: I know! I can’t make any of the words or phrases I was thinking of. I can’t even do lame ones like “porn star” or “rock star” because there are no O’s!
S.: There are no P’s, either…but you do have all the letters to spell “barn star”…
Me: I don’t know what a barn star is but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be one.