Saturday, May 21, 2011

Caturday: Celebrity Petmatch

The Boy once asked me, "Which high school cliche do you think Birch would be if he were a person?"

I said I thought he'd be a football player - not the best player on the team, but decent - and be average-smart, but really nice and likeable and therefore popular*.  If I made a coming-of-age movie about human-Birch, I'd get a young Brendan Fraser to play him.

Someone once told my mom that that our family dog - a sheepdog cross named Fizzie - was a canine Marilyn Monroe.  I can totally see it: Fizzie was a big-boned dog who swung her hips back and forth when she walked and was, well, really pretty dumb (which is not to say that Marilyn Monroe was dumb, but her public persona was certainly designed to look that way).

I've compared my friend Tommy's cat Lala to Marilyn Monroe, too, because Lala is charmingly ditzy - but Lala is also a teeny little waif with huge eyes, so appearance-wise the Marilyn thing doesn't quite work.  More like Twiggy on really strong hallucinogens or a young Mia Farrow after a minor head injury.

Lala, shooting rays of adorable out of her gigantic eyes.

My friend Cindy and I have decided that her cat, Penelopy, has a Jennifer Lopez thing going on ("Jennifur Lopurrs"!!!) because Penelopy is tiny but has an enormous butt.  Seriously, kitty got back.  She's the first cat I've ever thought of as "voluptuous".  Come to think of it, she's also a bit of a diva, so the Jennifer Lopez thing works on more than one level.

Penelopy a few years ago.  She's probably gained four pounds since then...all in her ass.  It is seriously glorious.

Does your cat or dog have a human look-a-like?  Who is it and why?

*Which is entirely too three-dimensional to be a high-school trope, but it's my answer and I stick by it.


  1. Kitties! I'm totally a sucker for them...I want to hug all these adorable ones right now :) It is amazing how different their little personalities can be and how good they get at "communicating their wants." I don't have kitties right now...the one tragic part of my otherwise healthy love match is that he is allergic to cats (sadness) but this just means I adore spoiling other people's cats!

    We do have a dog who is adorable though. He is built like my partner (broad shoulders and slim hips) but he (the dog) is of the so-ugly-he's-cute variety and we tell him frequently (in the doggie voice, obvi) that looks aren't everything ;)

  2. Ha ha ha! One of my nicknames for Birch is "uglypuss" (as in, "Who's da uglypuss? Who is he? YOU is da uglypuss!!") even though Birch is so-cute-he's-cute. It's fun to insult animals because as long as you use a loving tone, they have no idea at all that they're being maligned.

    Now I'm wondering what kind of dog you have! Boxer? Pug? Ugly-but-cute automatically makes me think of dogs with pushed-in faces. :D