Saturday, November 12, 2011

Caturday: Odds and Ends

The Boy quit his job about a month ago and is home for the time being. His previous work schedule was the main way I kept track of what day of the week it was, so now I never know what the hell is going on.  But it has come to my attention that today is Caturday, so here are three Birch stories for you.

1) We have a grid-shaped shelving unit against one wall of the living room.  One of the lower "holes" is relatively empty, and yesterday Birch was staring at it like he was thinking of climbing in there.  The Boy, in turn, was nonchalantly keeping an eye on Birch while sloooowly moving toward the big wooden storage box I've been using for a coffee table.  Oh yeah...I knew where this was going.  I said, "Don't brick him in there, Edgar Allen Poo" and The Boy sheepishly sat back down again.

2) One thing I really appreciate about Birch is that he's so laid-back.  My dog Merle always took it personally if I (or anyone) accidentally clonked him or tripped over him - he'd immediately cower and look at me like "Why did you hurt me?  What did I do wrong?" and it was heartbreaking.  Birch, conversely, seems to understand that sometimes shit happens and it's nothing personal.

Example: the other night in bed I went to shift sleeping positions, not realizing Birch was near me, and basically drove both of my knees into his spine hard enough to slide his whole body up by about a foot and a half.  I felt horrible, and immediately apologized and gave him some pets - but Birch basically shrugged and said "We're cool" and went right back to sleep.  I'm glad this stuff doesn't traumatize him because it happens kind of a lot. :P

3) The other day Birch was being all Crazy Cat (you know, that thing cats all do where they start zipping around the house and attacking imaginary prey) and it was seriously impeding our DVD-watching, so The Boy grabbed Birch and force-cuddled him in an attempt to mellow him out.  At first, I thought it was working; Birch wasn't meowing or struggling, so I assumed he'd forgotten about the imaginary mousies and had contentedly settled into The Boy's embrace.  But then I caught sight of his face.  It was not the face of a happy kitty.

The sheer impotent rage in Birch's expression made me laugh my ass off, which made him even madder.  Taking his picture certainly didn't help his mood, either.  But I had to preserve the moment. 

Good thing Birch isn't the vengeful sort or I'd be in the hospital, typing this entry with my stumps.


Have you seen the holiday items in my Zazzle store yet?  You should go take a look!  My two snowman cards have each been called "The best holiday card ever!" by different people. There's also a card with a BDSM robot on it for your friends who are into consensual beatings.  And you can customize any of them with whatever words you want!

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