Another Valentine's Day Card - Now With 100% More Viscera!

My newest Zazzle creation for Valentine's Day is this cute card with a disembodied human heart on it:

You make my heart soar by SheSaidPop

The inside simply says "You make my heart soar" - although you can totally change that to something else, if you want.  You'll also notice that the front of the card has plenty of room to personalize it with your loved one's name - or "Happy Valentine's Day" or "Happy Anniversary" or "I am going to pull out your still-beating heart, sew a pair of hacked-off dove wings onto it, and throw it jubilantly into the air" or whatever - I'm not judging!*

Make your special someone(s) smile on Valentine's with a sweet, quirky card by an independent artist.  They'll thank you for it (and so will I!).

*Although if you would actually do that last thing (instead of just writing it) I might be judging you a little bit.  Sorry. 

Some Lovely Cards For the Person You're Dating and/or Boning.

I decided I should stock my Zazzle store with mushy and/or naughty cards for Valentine's Day!  The first two cards that I made both have the same ice cream cone painting on the front, but different messages.  There's this one, which to me is a romantic/relationshippy card with a silly twist:

You're like ice cream... by SheSaidPop

...The punchline on the inside is: "...You're incredibly cool, amazingly sweet, and I'd like to bury my face in you."

D'awwwww!

Then I made this card, which is aimed more at a friends-with-benefits* sort of situation:

Naughty double-scoop ice cream cone by SheSaidPop

The inside of this one simply says, "I enjoy dry-humping you."  (Annnnnnnnnnd suddenly that vanilla scoop's smile looks a lot less innocent, am I right?)

But seriously, I believe it was etiquette columnist Miss Manners who said that when someone gives you a delightful evening of crotch-friction and mingled saliva, you should give them a nice thank you...and since most of us don't have the time to compose a hand-written letter, I've graciously provided this quick and tasteful alternative.  

As always, these are customizable and you can totally delete my words and put in something else if you want.

By the way, if you like that image of the ice cream cone, the original 4"x6" painting is for sale in my Artfire store!  Click here to go to the listing.

*I'll almost certainly be making more "friends with benefits"-type cards in the future.  There's a whole lot of ground between "friends" and "life partners" that your standard greeting card simply does not address, and I intend to fill that void.  Repeatedly.**

**SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!?***

***I am secretly twelve.

Caturday: and Now For Something Completely Different

So as I've mentioned, with The Boy and I both home on a full-time basis, I never know what the hell day it is anymore.  I spent all of Saturday happily painting, and then just after midnight I realized it was Caturday and I was like

:O 

...but then I realized that the painting I finished today is tenuously cat-related and I was like 

:D.

And that's why this week's slightly late Caturday post is a 6"x12" painting of a hot Asian boy wearing kitty ears.

True story.

_____

Valentine's Day is coming up!  If you need a gift for your sweetie, might I humbly suggest this Flying Heart necklace from my Zazzle store?  It's sterling plated and the picture is gorgeously vibrant and when you hand it to your special someone, you can say "I'm giving this to you 'cause this is how my heart feels when I'm with you."  And then you'll probably get laid a whole lot because that is a killer line. 

You give my heart wings by SheSaidPop
(It comes in a round version, too, if that's what turns your crank.)

In Praise of Skinny Men

Y'know the lower back "dimples" a lot of people have?  I have recently realized that they are actually the spot where a person's ass-muscles meet their back muscles.  Each ass-cheek is roughly teardrop-shaped, and the muscles around the lower spine are kinda V-shaped, so they dovetail - with a little dent in-between.

I didn't learn this from an anatomy textbook, by the way.  I learned it by ogling The Boy, who is so slender that I can clearly see every single muscle (and most of the tendons, and many of the bones) on his body.  I've learned more about how the human body is built from watching him walk around naked than I ever did from the anatomical diagrams in art class.  He is truly an artist's dream come true.

But also?  He's my dream come true.  I've been attracted to greyhound-skinny dudes for as long as I can remember, and The Boy is a perfect example of my ideal physical "type".  You guys, when I wrap my hand around his ankle my finger and thumb touch.  MRRRRRROWWWWR.

Anyhoo.  For quite some time now I've been planning to paint a series of "pin-up boys" - that is, men striking typically female poses (and sometimes wearing typically female clothes, too).  These men will of course be skinny and slightly effeminate, because if I'm gonna spend ten hours painting something I want it to be fun for me.  The "pin-up boy" concept is my way of playing around with gender roles and hopefully inspiring some discussion.  It's also my way of of addressing the distinct lack of hot, objectifying images of guys in pop culture*.

I finished the first painting in the series yesterday.  Naturally, The Boy was my model.  Ever wondered what he looks like (naked)?  Here you go:

Normally he's not so red, though.  Or horny.

I should be painting more pin-up boys really soon.  And, once I figure out the best way to photograph these paintings (this one is 8"x10"), I'll put them up for sale in the "Androgyny and Kink" section of my Artfire store...and post here to let you know they're up!

So, if you dig pictures of skinny, twinky, androgynous boys striking submissive poses for your pleasure...keep an eye on this space. :D

*Read: "I can't find porn that suits my needs so I'm gonna make my own."

The Time Has Come! The Time is Now! Go See This Strip, I Don't Care How!

Our friend Brett, author of the illustrious Weird Green Cat webcomic, has asked The Boy and I to do a guest strip!  We couldn't be more thrilled!  Head on over and check it out.

It's a parody of Dr. Seuss, by the way. :D  I wrote it (it's not the first time I've written a Mocktor Seuss verse!  I love that guy) and The Boy drew it (he can draw fucking anything, seriously, it's crazy).  The Boy and I have never collaborated on an art project before*, but it this was so much fun that I want to work with him a whole lot more!

If you dig the fantastical Seussian art of the strip, btw, then you should totally join The Boy's Facebook fan page.

For that matter, you should totally join my Facebook fan page.  I mean, if you haven't already.


*Unless taking sexy drag photos of him counts.  Which it should.

Love is Weird; Futurama is AWESOME.

Sometimes, The Boy and I will be watching TV and something spookily relevant happens on-screen.  It might be a character displaying one of my bizarre distinctive personal habits, it might be a couple having a discussion similar to one that he and I have had before - whatever.  And when he sees something on TV that reminds him of me/us, The Boy leans into my field of vision with a smugly triumphant "GUESS WHAT I'M THINKING RIGHT NOW" face and stares at me like that until I acknowledge him.

So a while ago we're watching Futurama together and one of the supporting characters (an enormous lizard-ish alien) uses the endearment "Gigantums" on his wife.  And out of the corner of my eye I see this:

I knew he was gonna do that.  This is what I get for being about four inches taller and thirty pounds heavier than he is. :D

But!  By a crazy coincidence, just a few days later we were watching The Big Bang Theory and one of the main characters (Sheldon) called another one (Leonard) a "homunculus" - explaining that this is "a small, perfectly formed human being" (you can see it here at approximately the 1:40 mark if you're interested).  And thus I got to sloooowly lean over and make a SmugFace of my own.

And that is why The Boy and I now call each other "Gigantums" and "My Little Homunculus," respectively.

*****

Speaking of love...Valentine's Day is coming up soon, and nothing makes a more touching and thoughtful gift for that special someone than an original painting of a skull and crossdildos with the caption ASS PIRATE.  Oh hey - I happen to sell one of those in my Artfire store!!!!!1!!  Duuuude you should totally get on that!

Caturday: Kitteh Wuz 98-Lb. Weakling!

So the other day a smallish orange escaped my grocery bag and rolled onto the floor.  Birch started playfully batting it around, which was totally adorable.  It also kind of surprised me because an orange is, like, a hundred times heavier than one of his hollow plastic jingle-ball toys.  He rolled it across the floor without any apparent effort, though.

I started wondering: does Birch need a heavier workout than he's been getting?  Is this business with the orange a cry for help?

The Boy and I think we should put him on a hardcore weight training program as follows:

Step 1: Buy Birch a new and incrementally heavier piece of produce to toss around every week.

Step 2: Watch his upper body slowly but surely become a rippling wall of muscle.  Do cats have biceps?  THEY DO NOW.

Step 3: ???

Step 4: PROFIT!

Move over, Gallagher: in six weeks there'll be a new watermelon-smasher in town!

On second thought, I probably don't want to give my whiny, demanding, attention-whore kitty the ability to hurl 25lb pumpkins at my head...so maybe I'll just leave well enough alone.

***

My Artfire store has wonderful original paintings of cats and cattiness!  You should go look. :)

Diary of a Trailblazer: Watching the Odometer Turn Over.

Holy cow, you guys, it's 2012!!!  I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and that the coming year is bright and shiny and awesome for everyone!

It's been nine months since I quit my day job and embarked on this journey.  In some ways the time went really fast; every Friday I think "Wait, what?  It's the weekend already?" and I can still vividly remember how it felt to get up and go to work every day.  In other ways, it feels like time has stood still - like I'm in a bubble of safety where normal human concerns somehow don't apply.  Here in my bubble, I've always been a stay-at-home artist and I'll always be a stay-at-home artist.

But then I remind myself that I'm not actually living in a bubble apart from the cares of humanity; I've been paying for my rent, bills and groceries just like everyone else.  And my money will eventually run out and I will have to think of what to do next.  

Then I freak out and, hypothetically speaking, spend most of December rocking back and forth in the foetal position.

...Well, going foetal in-between packing and shipping orders, because orders have been flowing into my Artfire store on a regular basis.  That gives me hope for the future, and once again I want to express my eternal gratitude to all of you who have bought my art or told your friends to check out my store.  Your good word of mouth is totally saving my ass, srsly. <3

I think I'm starting to come out of my funk.  I did a small painting the other day, and I started on another painting right after - a pretty big one.  I haven't painted anything bigger than 5"x7" in aaaaaaages.  I'll post pics eventually.  

In the meantime, here's a Christmas morning photo of Birch playing in an empty gift bag:

It's like we got him his own apartment for Christmas!

Yeah, that's right, I also uncurled from the foetal position long enough to celebrate Christmas and New Year's with The Boy and some friends, and it was absolutely lovely.  And now the days are getting longer again (yay sunshine!), the hustle and bustle of Christmas has subsided (yay peace and quiet!), and I'm totally looking forward to this brand new year.

Cheers, everyone. :)

***

Didn't get what you wanted for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/etc.?  Treat yourself to some wonderful wall art from my online store!  Sushi and robots and furmaids, oh my!