While I was waiting for my turn with the eye doctor, I flipped through a fashion magazine. I should mention that I rarely read magazines (or newspapers, or watch tv, or listen to the radio)...I guess in many ways I'm kind of sheltered from the world. And I am continually reminded that this is a good thing.
The magazine had an ad for maxi pads. With decorations on them.
|They kind of look like sneaker soles with tabs on the sides.|
I'm not against pointless decoration of an object per se (I guess technically all decoration is pointless...). My dishes are yellow, for instance, and although plain white dishes would work just as well, the yellow makes me happy. But printing a design on something I'll look at for two minutes and then shed chunks of uterine lining all over seems particularly ridiculous (even more so than bleaching tampons!**). Plus I bet these "Kotex U"*** pads cost more than plain ones. Plus I wonder how healthy it is to have coloured dye up against one's ladybits.
And even if I did have a demented preoccupation with my sanitary products looking "fun", I wouldn't want a pad with abstract swirls printed on it. I'd want the Wikipedia entry for Hermann Rorschach. Or a vampire at the dinner table, presiding over a strategically placed empty plate. Or red bars at the top and bottom so the pad will end up looking sort of like a sideways Canadian flag.
|My heart will swell with patriotism every time I visit the ladies' room.|
|This pic of Rorshach was taken in 1910. He's probably less hot now.|
*I actually found out about the damage during an optometrist appointment. The doctor was all, "Do you have any concerns about your vision?" and I said it seems like my vision had gotten way worse in just the past few weeks, especially in my right eye. That's when she examined me and found a bunch of scratches - which had irritated my eyes and caused them to fill with fluid, giving me temporary astigmatism. Gross.
**Vagina-owners take note: tampons are bleached so they look more sanitary (I'm guessing their natural colour would be off-whitish?). Rayon tampons that have been bleached with chlorine make a chemical residue that's been linked to a number of health problems, including cancer and infertility. All this for something you're just gonna bleed on anyway.
***The next time I have my period, I'm going to tell people I'm a student at Kotex U. And that I'm majoring in "Chocolate" and minoring in "Cranky".