[The Boy and I are sitting on the bed, hanging out. As usual, he is naked. He has just made a horrible joke.]
Me: Arrrrrrgh that was so awful. I should give you a wedgie.
Boy: But I'm naked so I'm immune. Ha!
[I give his pelvis a speculative look, wondering about the efficacy of trying to "wedgie" him with the blanket he's sitting on.]
Boy [following my gaze]: NO! DON'T DO IT!
[I realize he thought I was going to try to reach through his legs and yank his junk up into his asscrack.]
Me: Ooooh. How delightfully evil. What would you even call that? An "atomic wedgie" is when you pull the back of someone's underwear right over their head...so what do we call this?
Boy: Armageddon wedgie? Uber-wedgie?
Me: I think we need to abandon the entire "wedgie" paradigm for this one. Ooooh! I have it! Pulling a guy's junk back through his legs and up his asscrack is...a "chili dog."
Me: ...Because you're putting the wiener and beans between the buns.
Boy: There is not enough facepalm in the world for what you just said.